I stood naked in front of a man this weekend, I stood naked in my entirety.
I needed him to see me in my fullness, my wholeness, without my shame.
We were by a river, the water was roaring around us as the wetness, moistness of being down down down in the valley encircled us. It was like being in the womb.
I walked up to him and asked “Can you witness me and my nakedness?”
“Can you just be and watch and observe me in my vulnerability?”
~
You see I have shame.
I have shame around my body.
Shame which was conditioned by the societies I grew up; India, Nepal and South East Asia in general.
Sex wasn’t safe.
Sex wasn’t sexy.
My body wasn’t safe.
My body wasn’t sexy.
I was willing and open to release those beliefs AND I knew I needed a man to witness me fully naked.
Unwaxed, unshaven.
“Can you witness me and my nakedness?”
“Can you just be and watch and observe me in my vulnerability?”
I knew that this was the moment that I needed.
I stood there fully naked and allowed him to observe my body, my curves, my hair, my eyes and my pussy.
I wanted to feel what it felt like just to feel natural
I wanted to feel what it would feel like just to be observed
I wanted to feel what it felt like to just be me
I wanted to feel what it felt like to be a woman
Unjudged
Unashamed
So I stood there. I opened my arms up. I looked in him in the eyes and watched as he grazed his presence down my body.
I turned around and let him observe me from behind.
The crease of my bottom, the dip of my hips…
Turning around again, our eyes met.
“Thank you I said, thank you for holding space for my fullness”
“Thank you for being the masculine with the full ability to honour the feminine”
—-
The rawness, the vulnerability of asking a man to witness me in my nakedness was empowering. Of me being able to hold my ground and observe my feelings arise as I was witnessed fully naked.
This man wasn’t my partner or lover. He was another human. We were there to support each other.
I am on a mission to normalize nudity and the wider more taboo topic of sexuality.
For us to feel in love with being OK in our rawness. This was my step towards allowing others to heal their shame.
I’m no longer interested in my body/sexual shame. Shame has no place in my mind any more shame. Shame has no place in my life any more.
I want to own my power.
I want to own my femininity.
I want to own my womanhood.
So I stood fully naked in front of a man today, and asked him to witness me.
I feel free.
xo
Nora
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