Committed to freedom…
Commitment takes 100% belief, faith and knowing that this is what you want.
Freedom seems like the ultimate opposite.
Freedom to me means not having to be tied down, of always having options.
*side note* what FREEDOM means to me may not mean the same to you, this blog post is written from the angle of what freedom means to me!
Today I saw how my commitment to freedom seems like it is pulling me back from what I really want, freedom.
I was asked today if I had ever been committed to something. Like really committed.
Not the blasé kind of commitment, half heartedly doing it for the sake of doing it.
I had to think.
It wasn’t my last relationship as otherwise we would still be together.
Actually it would be none of my relationships.
It wouldn’t be previous jobs, as I haven’t had any employment, ever.
It wouldn’t be making money, as I’d be way richer than I am now.
What I realized is...
I’m committed to my freedom.
I find it hard to do only ONE thing, because what if I like that better?
I find it hard to live in only ONE country, surely that country over there seems like it has more on offer no?
I don’t want to plan in advance, because what if….something comes up better and more freeing than this now?
What I thought was a perhaps a ‘good’ or ‘positive’ belief now turns out it may be hindering my growth, cutting at my life joy and just generally making me sabotage myself.
I am not even sure I can reframe my commitment right now.
I am in shock.
Deep in pondering how this commitment is showing up in my life.
It feels like I am actually scared to commit to anything other than my freedom, and that Nora may not work out the way you think it will.
Here’s a little note to self.
Nora, stop sabotaging your life by thinking your commitment to freedom will get you exactly what you want. It may be stopping you getting exactly what you want.
I’m going off to go and ponder how I can still be committed to freedom AND not sabotage my life.
Have you discovered some of your hidden commitments?
As always, I would love to know.